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The 5 Stupidest Lawsuits of 2010

IRS building on Constitution Avenue in Washing...

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5. Feds v. Feds.  Winner: Irrelevant; Loser: Taxpayers.

Feds vs. Feds in ‘Stupidest Lawsuit Ever’

That’s the characterization, with only “slight hyperbole,” that Bloomberg columnist Jonathan Weil slaps on a suit filed by Freddie Mac, the congressionally chartered housing finance organization, against the IRS, which says Freddie owes $3 billion in back taxes.  From: FedBlog

4. The mother of all lawsuits.

McDonald’s suit over Happy Meal toys by California mom Monet Parham new low in responsible parenting

No one forced Parham to take her daughters to McDonald’s, buy them that particular menu item, and sit by as they ate every last French fry in the bag (if they did).

No, she’s suing because when she said no, her kids became disagreeable and “pouted” – for which she wants class action status.  More

3. Definitely Photoshopped a medical degree.

Docter Sues Restaurant For Letting Him Eat a Whole Artichoke.

A Miami doctor is suing Hillstone Restaurant Group, parent of the Houston’s chain, after a bad experience with an artichoke. Apparently Arturo Carvajal ordered the off-menu special of “Grilled Artichokes.” Then he ate the entire thing, leaves and all.

According to the legal complaint via the Miami New Times, he suffered “severe abdominal pain and discomfort,” was admitted to the hospital and an “exploratory laparotomy was performed where artichoke leaves were found lodged within [his] small bowell [sic].”

More.

2. They could have just turned on the stereo.

Couple end up in court for making too much noise during sex.

A couple in Germany ended up in court, accused of breaking anti-noise pollution laws after neighours complained their bed had made too much noise while they were having sex.  More.

1.  When assault should be legal.

Court Bars Child Molester From Suing Victim’s Parents.

The Wisconsin Court of Appeals has refused to follow a convicted child molester, Anna Knopf,  “down the rabbit hole” and allow her to sue the parents of the 13-year-old boy she assaulted for failing to protect him from her.

The lawsuit alleged sexual assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligence. Knopf responded in extraordinary fashion — by filing a counterclaim against the child’s father and a third-party complaint against his mother in which she accused them of contributory negligence.

In one pleading, Knopf’s attorney, John P. Runde of Wausau, Wisc., reached the heights of chutzpah, suggesting the child’s parents helped

cause his injuries by trying to “find out for sure” who he was involved with rather than preventing him from having continued contacts with her.  More.

 

All Hail Twenty Ten! Top 10 Legal of the Decade/2010

Welcome to Twenty Ten!  We trust and hope our readers will enjoy a good new year! (We have to, as the latest Rasmussen poll states 72% of us believe 2010 will be better.)

Starting off this new year is our Top Ten of 2010 in various lawyer/legalprofessional-related categories – some fun, some data, all factual:

Vault’s Top 10 Law firms for 2010:  Peer voted (beginning with the top rated firm in the nation):

  • Cravath, Swaine & Moore
  • Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom
  • Sullivan & Cromwell
  • Davis Polk & Wardwell
  • Weil, Gotshal & Manges
  • Simpson Thacher & Bartlett
  • Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton
  • Covington & Burling
  • Kirkland & Ellis

 

Top 10 TV Lawyers:  The listing is for the 2000 through 2010 seasons:

10. Bobby Donnell (The Practice, Dylan McDermott

9. Barry Zuckerkorn (Arrested Development), Henry Winkler

8. Michael Cutter (Law & Order), Linus Roache

7. Sarah “Mac” Mackenzie (JAG), Catherine Bell (below left)

6. Dennis “Denny” Crane (Boston Legal), William Shatner

5. Harvey Birdman (Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law), voiced by Gary Cole

4. Harmon “Harm” Rabb, Jr. (JAG)—David James Elliot

3. Ted Buckland (Scrubs),  Sam Lloyd

2. Patty Hewes (Damages), Glenn Close

And #1, the man himself, Jack McCoy (Law & Order), Sam Waterston.

Other top 10 lists of interest:

Top 2010 Law School Rankings

Top 2010 NYC and NYS Law School Rankings

JD Supra’s Lawyers & Legal Professionals Looking Ahead to 2010

Again, welcome back, <rolling up the arm sleeves>, it’s time to make Twenty Ten a powerful year.

Reminder: Add the 2010 copyright year on your publications, forms, contracts…!!

BNI Operatives: Street smart; Web savvy; 2010 geared.

As always, stay safe.

Sex Sells; Lawyers Prove It

We’ve covered legal marketing in numerous Bulletin issues and have imparted this known advertising truth: Sex sells. Not the generic type ad execs are prone to clone but the simple hardwiring differences between the genders. Our minds are primal-brain trained for long term survival.

This seems to be a duh-factor for most, but, and the focus of this week’s Bulletin, is that even that old Mad Men maxim has cleverly reached previously untouchable, seemingly unrelated, niche markets. Specifically, the greenies. Two examples of brilliant sex/green cross marketing campaigns, using a simple advertising tool – the annual calendar are:

- The Philadelphia Eagles 2009 cheerleaders’ calendar, printed on recycled paper, features the cheerleaders wearing bikinis made from 100% organic cotton and accessorized with natural stones jewelry.

- Habana Outpost, NYC’s cool new eco-friendly restaurant (utensils are made from potato-based compost, they use corn cups and smoothies are processed through a bike-powered blender, $1 off if you ride the (stationary) bike yourself) offers up its 2009 Chicas Habas (Girls Gone Green) calendar on recyc paper, of course, and printed with soy ink.

And lawyers almost hit the ultimate feel-good, carbon footprint accounting, animal friendly marketing trifecta with the (possibly first ever) Beautiful Lawyers calendar to benefit Greater Boston Legal Services (whose sub charities list includes the Animal Rescue League of Boston). The Beautiful Lawyers calendar is also equal op: male and female JDs, (no bikinis, on either) but it is printed on REAL, glossy expensive paper with regular multi-color ink, no less. Sigh… Wait, we have 2010!

But now, my innate competitive NY spirit demands that the 2010 BL calendar be an Empire State version. Send in pics and charity suggestions. We’ll donate our marketing advice on covering the green brownie points. NY can’t get beaned on this one!

BTW, is anyone else curious about the Habana Outpost’s chicken and steak menu?

BNI Operatives: Street smart; Web savvy; Green conscious; Pet friendly. (No, as far as we know, there are no plans for a Police Canine calendar for furry friend lovers.)

(This entire post may be an outpouring of the stress of enduring a 2-year presidential campaign but lately, I’m finding it easier to concentrate on wall calendars than mega-worries Wall Street, Detroit and France’s new found admiration for the U.S..)

Seriously, stay safe all,

Lina

Your Firm’s Bottom Line: Increasing Advertising ROI

Happy Labor Day! – the one day most of us will take off from figuring out how to increase productivity and related earnings. But come tomorrow…

This week’s topic is all about your firm’s bottom line.

We’re increasingly approached about the legal marketing services we offer here at BNI and, an often cited question is – how does our primary line of work relate to marketing? At first glance, an odd combination – investigative work and marketing. Pondering it further, an investigator is trained to think analytically and to also be quite creative. We never have 100% foreknowledge of the result of any phone call, info inquiry or face to face situation. So why are some investigators more successful in their field than others? Curiosity is certainly a reason but the main factor for success is that we instinctively understand our audience. We have to. It is that simple. We often have less than a few seconds to give an impression and gain a person’s confidence.

So, who better to have on your marketing team than someone who has the ability to quickly assess a successful strategy?

Today, I’d like to offer some tips in selecting a good marketing strategy: (There are 3 ground rules)

1. If you see a wildly successful advertising campaign in a field different from yours, observe it closely. The ideas that can really boost your bottom line ALWAYS come from outside the box.

2. There is only one reason to spend money on marketing – revenue. (Creating a good public image comes from the quality representation your firm gives its clients.)

3. Look at your competitors’ marketing and advertising activity – and do the opposite. You have to stand out or you will pump in an endless stream of money into the tried but usually not necessarily true. (If your competitor has a big ad campaign – he/she a- started out with a smaller, unusual strategy and grew to that point or b- they are simply throwing away a lot of money very quickly or c- are unknowningly spending too much for what appears to be a great return.)

For an example of what not to do, (a real tv ad from March, 2008), view below. I’m sure this firm’s lawyers are sincere and deliver quality services to their clients, but the oral message and visual delivery do not match. If this ad is working for them, great – but it can be even more successul with a few of the above mentioned tweaks (and some technical ones – i.e., make sure the firm’s name is legible against the backdrop, scroll – as opposed to fix – your message continuously along the bottom, and, if you are going to show sample case clips – repeat only one or two scenes; four or five scenarios do not allow the viewer to internalize the critical message point.)

And on a final note, join LinkedIn, the world’s largest and growing social/business network. Feel welcome to request the previous Bulletin we ran on LinkedIn, as they have partnered in with LexNex to become the highest-rated online networking tool for lawyers in the world.

BNI Operatives: Street smart; Web savvy.

As always, stay safe,

Lina

Kelly Chang, Esq.: Online Marketing Genius

Kelly Chang, an LA-based family and divorce lawyer, our featured Clip of the Week focus, has figured out how to leverage YouTube to promote her practice. You Tube is free, easy and ultimately, the success of your marketing effort in this venue depends entirely on you – how you portray yourself and your skills and experience. You do not have this level of control utilizing traditional advertising avenues. Aside from the obvious costs involved, print, tv and radio advertising all require an ad designer; almost always not the client. YouTube allows for consumer-control and provides effective distribution with deep market penetration potential.

Quick ground rules for making a YouTube video:

1. Do NOT hire a film crew. Unnecessary. A good handheld digicam will do- especially one that is HD-enhanced. Canon and Sony are good choices.

2. Flesh out a brief script for yourself. Try not to be rigid; but stick to your main selling points – for your practice and even more importantly, your character.

3. Allow for viewer comments. (It’s risky but not as much as looking overly controlling.)

The one thing we would have done differently would have been to insert a scrolling I.D. banner along the bottom of the video. There are tons of video editing apps (such as Video Edit Magic) that you can use: some free; most easy to use. Try cnet.com for well tested suggestions.

Turned into an office and/or family project, advertising your practice on YouTube or similar internet venue, can also be an empowering and loyalty-inspiring group project.

BNI Operatives: Street smart, Net Savvy.

As always, stay safe,

Lina

What Happens In Your Office, Stays In Your Office: Wi-Fi Security

Recently, BNI operatives met with a longstanding Midtown Manhattan client to discuss the firm’s expansion to a wireless office. We’ve observed this trend among many law firms and have, and continue, to monitor our clients’ Wi-Fi security needs.

Below are several quick tips that will hopefully address some of the initial concerns of going wireless:

1. Encrypt. If you are a small firm and doing this yourself, we suggest any of the CNET 3 stars+ rated programs at
http://www.download.com/
. If you are having someone else doing it: confirm that they have the ability to fully encrypt and that the management aspect is easily and quickly converted to your staff.

2. Select your IP address. Default IP address ranges are typically 192.168.x.x. Make sure your unique address is in the 10. or 172. ranges.

3. Add more firewall cover. Tie your wireless into something harder to punch a hole through like a domain controller with hardware firewall. That will be in front of your public facing IP address.

4. Restrict connections. Easily written but as you would not give just anyone your office keys; install a gatekeeper and keep tabs.

The above tips are probably overkill for a home connection, but a lawyer’s office can be a goldmine for those seeking early retirement through others’ efforts.

Good luck, and as always,

Stay safe,

Lina

Who Knows About You? Silvana Does! Yellow Pages v. Web Ads

Of course, our newest teammember, Silvana Brucculleri, knows about our Beacon readers; their needs and concerns and the informationally-focused news that we try to provide for the trial law community. Silvana brings real-world investigative fieldwork and research, translated into a digital format, to our valued readers. A short while ago, we realized we needed to expand our staff. After reviewing tons of vid. CVs, conducting in person interviews and carefully sorting through unsolicited, albeit, some interesting, offers, we incidentally and accidently ran into Silvana during a work-related project. We saved the video resumes, letters and amusing Photoshopped headshots we’d amassed for our Best of… release and went gut instinct. Starting with next week’s Bulletin, Silvana will be joining us via live video from the field. Welcome to Beacon, Silvana!

On to this week’s topic: Yellow Pages v. Internet Ads

The knowledgeable weigh in:

The Yellow Pages
Regarding Lex-Nex’ David Heardman’s negative assessment of Yellow Pages advertising as a viable current marketing avenue, Josh Friedman, Esq, responds: “Although I hate to give away my “secret,” I think prediction of the death of the yellow pages is a bit premature. First of all, it’s simply not true. In my solo civil rights and employment law practice, and in those of many of my small firm colleagues, the yellow pages is far and away the biggest source of business. Most of my under 30 clients don’t even have Internet access, and they are much more comfortable using the phone to identify, research and hire counsel….” davidheardman@lexisnexis.com

The Digital Divide
U.S. residential broadband penetration is expected to exceed 50 percent in 2007. By the end of 2007, more than 60 million U.S. households will be connected–around 55 percent–according to market researcher Parks Associates. During 2006, broadband subscriptions grew by more than 20 percent in the U.S. and by the end of the year around 50 million households had fat pipes. Source: CNet. (www.cnet.com)

Unless one has Legal Zoom’s advertising budget, the decision between print and digital advertising is an angst-ridden one for most law firms. Much like iPhone’s early purchasers, most business owners do not want to be caught out in the cold two months after spending their annual budget in the wrong marketing venue.

We have solid advertising advice for the legal practitioner:

By limiting to, or concentrating your advertising dollars to spend in, the Yellow Pages and other print-based mediums, you are likely to also limit the audience to one that is typically less able to pay your fees.

Certainly one should keep a presence in the print media but the market-saavy recommend that you decrease the print and increase a digital presence as well. That way you stand a better chance of getting a few of the many folks who are increasingly using this medium for their legal resource finding.

You will definitely miss the group from another city who need the services of a local provider. They will use an online resource almost 100% of the time. That is inevitable.

Bottom line: Our experts suggest a 30% print and 70% digital advertising campaign.

Remember to help us usher in Silvana next week as she reports live!

BNI Operatives: Street smart; web saavy.

Be careful,

Jonathan Caspian

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